Voodoo from the planet Wikipedia
Siem Reap, Sunday 11 April 2010
I am rather spooked out. Voodoo from planet Wikipedia? The Wikipedians send their psychic shaman to mess with my laptop.
Now, I should say, I was brought up in the days when your SIGNATURE was your identification. This is no longer the case, but throughout childhood I was PROMISED over and over, this signature thing is all you need to identify yourself, yes there are a few CROOKS and bad bad criminals who fake signatures, and wow, how bad that is and we torture them with rusty fingernails, and lock them in the Tower of Birmingham. All bullshit.
Pass words, piss worlds.
No, I am not cut out for this Digital Age, I am a Digital Witchdoctor, a Shaman, by nature, unrecognised, unlicensed, no apprenticeship was there for me, I am uncomfortable in the digital age. OK I worked in computers professionally for many years, weigh back when 4/6 was not a Human Design Profile. It was what you paid for a GALLON of petrol.
Grumpy Old Man Day. Look, there was this wikipedia fuss, read all about it, ok, the R Soles did not play fair, I had a great time, and it was CORRECT, I felt so ALIVE and so JOYOUS - what is the comment Ra Uru Hu made on PissBook yesterday? Let me find that. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=571874860
Ra Uru Hu on Facebook - evening of 10 April here in Asia: "Futile actions, irrational justifying of mistakes and negative projections by others are some of today's conditioning themes. Trust Your Strategy and Authority and Love Yourself."
He has this knack of hitting the snail on the bed.
Do you notice the calmness that follows reading Ra? You noticed that. It is like SOMEONE has spoken, real power. You just stop. I do. I have to tell you a story. It was winter 2002-2003, some time, and Ra actually replied to my first email to him, all I remember is his automated signout - Love Yourself. It was a revelation. My mind went into a deep mind spin.
Logically, if he is some kind of guru, then he has given me that instruction, with mystical power, and it is more powerful than just words from my mother or whatever. Well, my mother always told me the opposite, utter shit of a mother, utter utter shit. As a mother. As a person, ok. But never mind. All I got was that I was ugly stupid no good, there I was clutching my degree from Cambridge convinced but I am really stupid, this is false, I knew because mummy and everyone else told me. Autism. It is called Aspergers Syndrom, and I have it. I never got that people tell lies, I still have to double think myself into that, why why why, what is the purpose, really? People just do that? No! Really. Every damn day I have this, by 5pm, or so, I suddenly realise, o m g. People tell lies. Fucking Aspergers Syndrome, Never Mind.
I decided that day, look, it is IRRELEVENT is this man is a guru or not. I can placebo all that. Personal History by hypnosis. Convince myself that Jesus/Buddha/whoever, does not matter, someone I HAVE TO LISTEN TO has just instructed me, with the power of all that is beyond here, LOVE THY SELF.
And I suppose, that day, and more and more since then, I did.
End of story.
Where was I, Who am I, rambling too much today. I am distressed, you know, 14 dead in Bangkok, I just got out of there. Tourist street Cow Sand Road, everything smashed. So much anger and blood there. It is close to here. No threat, nobody there will bother with Cambodia. But still. My heart is stretched, bruised, and broken, dispirited by this news last knight and this morning. Never mind, zombie world, people are sleep walking into violence and there is nothing for me to do - I do not really believe prayers will help, but I cannot help it, I send love and healing with all my heart to Bangkok, and the whole planet right now. Angels, Are You There?
Sew. Yesterday, I cannot get back to wikipedia, nor online, this virus, these viruses on my Samsung NC10, shitty little mistake, that box, oh dear, I could hardly breathe for Antivirus messages all the time. Blocking everything. So off the internet, I scanned the whole computer. A few virus files found and deleted, but, these viruses were probably in the part of the system that does wifi, and from that moment no wifi. Wifi internet connection has gone from the Desktop, from the Control Panel, from everywhere, this laptop no longer has any idea, what is why fry?
Voodoo from Wikipedia fried my effing laptop? Damn them.
Out comes the trusty old Sony Vaio, here I am , now. On the Vaio. Good working animal. Just very old. Sleek machine. But passwords? Oh dear me, and with my Human Design, with my channel of Struggle, as a sacral being, I do not FEEL I want to do all the complications, to find that wikipedia password for Mike Mahalo. Finally I make a new wikipedia ID, Digital Witchdoctor. I post a brief message, I want to complete the article started, can it be undeleted.
No damn reply. This is bullying, this is fascism. Let the newbie know, he is small, we are powerful. Shitty military camp, stench of smelly stupidity.
I still have not decided, shall I trace my password as Mike Mahalo, or not. Yes, they offered to help me now, but I am SPOOKED. Sacral? And I realised something very very odd and profound. About my split definition.
As a child, well in the UK there was an 11+ exam, every child was tested by the government, and my life changed. I found that test too easy, I completed it rapidly and sat watching a room full of other kids struggling, licking their pencils, I so remember, oh well, I am stupid, what to expect, I did that test wrong. I came top. Free education, the most expensive school, government will pay. Christ. Must be a mistake, never mind. Daddy is happy, free education, I could choose any school, perhaps stupidly, I chose the one where my Dad was a teacher, never mind, it seemed right, I was just a kid. I did not know the politics, the problems, later my mother told me, the headmaster called her and made an offer, the year before, they had failed me at the entrance exam there, the deal was my father left the school (he was unpopular - autistic genius, like me), and I get the exam result. She basically told him the 1960s equivalent of Fuck You. One year later the government paid my fees, nobody told me this story, I just got the bad energy from staff and from my first day, dreadful bullying by the sixth form, the prefects, and within days my own classmates. It is called the Channel of Struggle, 28-38, in my chart. I still have it. I am one sensitive soft undercooked being, even now.
So from 12 years old the world decided I was a genius, the teachers and my class mates and family, said, no. Stupid little freak. OK. Just stop hurting me, ok.
Ah, childhood was a very hard time. Adulthood was also. "Life, don't talk to me about life" (H2G2).
But again, when the exams came the little weirdo did well, always. Teachers stupendified. Idiot in class. Genius in the exam room. I just knew the answers. Weirdest thing.
So I am saying, my Human Design Chart has this deep split, intellect and guts, and over the years, this intellect defined me, confined me, and I coined the name Digital Witchdoctor at Cambridge one day, after hearing the Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy (H2G2) joke about Digital Watches, in fact. www.digitalwitchdoctor.com, I own it but it is a symbol, recently, of that intellect, that denial of ME, that oh Mike Is So Clever bullshit, when my truth, in my Human Design Chart, was atrophied, hidden. I became Mahalo. I compromised into Mike Mahalo, but I became these guts, these balls, this spleen, Mahalo.
Finally on wikipedia, Mike Mahalo has no place. I know my own spleen and guts and balls, no fucking idea of intellect. I flip from university professor, intellectuality, to suck my cock, dance with me, grill me some salmon, hug me, love me, be with ME. Mahalo.
And just creating the login at wikipedia, Digital Witchdoctor, the intellect was back, untainted by the sacral of my truth. I remain a little confused and lost. I want to marry these two together, more than anything I ever wanted, more than all my life seeking someone OUT THERE, a partner, a lover, I want myself connected up
That was the energy of the moment when I posted the wikipedia article, see the blog that day, see the chart, if I can link it again, I plan to do that here. Maybe I will impersonate the Digital Witchdoctor again, it is all masks, look at the bloody symbol, a Venetian Carnival mask. And as always with me, Yin And Yang stirred and twisted, always the black and the white, contradictions in flow.
SHIT. I also lost my password for my email.
What to do.