Tuesday, 6 April 2010

Shock and Delerium in the Heat?

Siem Reap,  7 April 2010

08h30 Blue Pumpkin Cafe

Last week seemed to me to be about Control, and this Week seems to be about Shock.  I have never experienced the hexagram names so directly, or so consistently, for days at a time.  

There are 385 hexagram lines that occur day by day each year, so each one is between 22 and 24 hours, about one day each, hence the misleading phrase, 3rd line day, and so on.  But as it happens, the moment of change from line to line, the Alignment, is during the night hours here in Cambodia, so with some dread, I have woken up in a 3rd line day, accidents, trial and error, with the Sun in the hexagram of Shock.

Yesterday and the day before, the wildness of the traffic was scary, and indeed there was a particularly tragic motorbike accident here in town, and the Princess and her brother just had to go and stare. They were each shaken, and that is the original Chinese name for this hexagram, it shakes you.  It is a shamanic energy of initiation by shock that makes you either dead, deeply damaged, or altered forever.  The Cambodian or Khmer New Year is in a few days time, when every Cambodian goes home to Mummy, and obviously, busses are all full, the roads are busy, and there are many accidents on the road.  This journey to be home is a duty, and a joy, the shop will close and all the staff are gone.  But seeing that accident, I presume it was death, and not pretty, we don't like helmets here... well, these plans are now cancelled, the Princess is spooked out.

On my bicycle yesterday, also on my motorbike, danger everywhere.  Close misses, incredibly different energy in the world.

I have spider sense, known in Human Design as a defined spleen with no defined solar plex.  And there is a major difference, as they all promised, after completing my 7 years of Human Design, and gradually I am relaxed into the awareness of my spleen centre.  Recently my spleen was working, cleaning illness from my body, food poisoning was gone relatively quickly and comfortable, and I felt that, in a particular way, ah, my spleen is doing that, I now know THAT feeling.  And the past couple of days, my spleen was alive within my being in a very different way, the now of danger.  Guiding me, protecting me, stop here, wait, drive a little to the right, and I miss an accident by millimetres by some drunk idiot racing up behind me.  

The main reason I felt I needed to continue this blog as a public - public thing, the word service is stupid, nobody cares yet, but never mind, the reason I want to carry on centres on this feeling, this glow, yes, as they promised, my life is different after 7 years of Human Design, and only this last week do I get that so physiologically.

I also keep mostly to my diet, PHS, not that I trust the ideas in PHS, but it is something and I have to say, probably the most powerful change in my life, that awkward, anti-social diet.

So here we are, a third line day, normally the day for accidents, and I check the transit chart - which still has the software error in MMI of course.  When my laptop hibernates, the MMI software does not reset the date, and I get all my transit charts with the correct time and incorrect date.  And I have wanted to inform Ra, but waiting, for my energy to be correct.  My mind thinks, oh, it is the Annual event, this year in Toronto, and I am NOT there, but everyone who is there does not need my contact at this time.  Uhuhm.  

And there is a new calmness in my sacral, yeah yeah, whatever, no need to fuss about informing Ra.  My mind is going, but but but, hold on, and here I am mentioning it in my blog, when I decided to first inform him, and I have not done that.  I am just on my path and Ra is a little irrelevent.

Which is as it should be really.  I am in the bubble of my own world now.  But it feels somehow, hold on, tell the guy, and my sacral is not budging.  Odd.

With the correct transit day, I discover only good news - the third line of SHOCK is not nasty at all, Sponaneity in times of challenge, sounds great, thinking on your feet, ok.  The Sun exalts, or fixes, the duality of this hexagram line into a very positive energy - but I don't want to get into the technicalities, only to say, wow, that is not about accidents, on THIS third line day.  It is about creative solutions and progress.  

The Earth is in hex 57, intuition, the gentle and unavoidable penetration of truth, in this moment of now, and also a very positive line 3, "perfected intelligence, where clarity eliminates doubt and ensures manifestation."  

I'll sign up for some of that.

I am concerned, knowing my own chart, of some trends in my life.  Each open or undefined centre has a slogan - and my open centres are:

open ego - always trying to prove and improve myself

open solar plex - avoiding confrontation and truth

open crown - obsessed with things that do not matter to me

open Chi - hopelessly lost in others paths, never finding my own, never knowing WHERE to be, and always seeking love.

Hmmm.  2 things on my mind now.  My continued staying here in Siem Reap, sounds like I am lost in helping out The Princess instead of my own life.  The heat is unbearable this year, 40 degrees in the shade, global warming...   So this business venture, ok I feel GREAT, I do LOVE it, I am so happy some days, wow.  But is it really MINE?  I seem to have cut out all my own Mahalo ness from it and just wasted money on some idea of Princess business that cannot work, it can only be a joint synthesis and I seem to be failing to impress my own self into this.  Empty Chi centre, I think?

Recently I have been fussing about the wikipedia entry for Human Design, it is not there.  Yesterday I posted here on the blog some ideas for an article, but I never wanted to do this, what is happening?  Why?  Why me?  Obsessed?  I am wondering.  Uhuhm


1 comment:

  1. Heat = 42 degrees C in the shade, I just found out, measured on this day. And much the same every day recently. Very very hot here.

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