Wednesday 31 March 2010 - Siem Reap
08:45, La Boulangerie Cafe
Human Design Blog est mort. Vive www.humandesignblog.com!
Let me check my energy for a moment. Uhuhm.
Well, the original energy to blog, as it was, collapsed, was it yesterday, or the day before? I think it was the day before...
And that was over at www.vox.com/mikemahalo but if you are reading this, you know that a new home has been found, and www.humandesignblog.com has switched home. And here I am.
So what is different? Well, there are aspects of my personal life, and in particular my business, shit christ fuck, did I just use those 2 words together, that is ODD! My and Business, wtf?
Oh it was easy to blog the frustrations, the set backs, the personal irritations, to know myself as the clown that people could ridicule, as always. But maybe a week ago it hit me, this is actually going to be a success. Finally I got it. I became somehow, a businesswoman, after all these years of no not me. I suddenly found, ah, yes, I see how people can do this and I see how I am part of this in a team, a connected family group in a way, oh my goodness, who am I?
And no longer could I blog every detail. It became superstitious to mention ANY success. Sure, failure is funny, you get the Hancock Humour, then Hancock commits suicide and the newspapers said what a Genius! But I just could not even tell my closest friends, because the progress was tiny, it is early days, and I felt right at the teaspoon stirring the sugar into someone else's tea (I don't take sugar in my tea, PHS diet number 1, by the way...)
Breakfast, just a moment, back in a minute...
... typing with my mouth ful ... what would Mother say!
Blogging is indolent, is that the word? Busy people have no time to blog. Blogging is not for those LIVING their lives at all, it is for those of us in the armchairs with the leisure time to comment and debate. And do you know, if I come back to blog, I do not really want to mention every detail of business, it is just bad juju, and my first conflicted moment, with breakfast unfinished, is that in half an hour the man comes to fix the sign and I have to ...
You see. You sense the difference in me? All this hapless amateurism, nice blog, what a joke, but the reality of life, ah, it is silent. It is for ME alone. With those close to me, ALONE.
And there are other aspects of my life, where I have to close the blog, and restart, and YOU the reader may not notice any difference, so what, I just tell you, my close family, I do not want to involve them, ok.
I so want to write an essay, almost, my 7 years testing Human Design and what that means for me, the change, the bad, and also, what else was there, oh, yes, among the ashes and sick, some GOOD, have to remember to blog about that.
It is NOT an easy ride, people, this HD, oh no, do not think it is comfortable, but if it is, damn you, why was it so hard for me?
Ah, yes, I have to eradicate and remove and stop all that arrogance and bitterness and grumpiness in that original blog. It has to change.
New hexagram week starts today, Control 21 and Skills 48. I also want to streamline the whole wordiness of these references to hexagrams and the date time place. As before, I want to emphasis how arbitrary and misleading and multiple each hexagram name is, while these exist perfectily and precisely in some mathematical world where I long to avatar myself and be, and I know each hexagram in the simplicity of that meaning there, over here in human words and human life we have split same same meanings and energies into disparate concepts and forms that are unrecognisable as similar. So I got wordy.
And now I'm doing it again.
Oh I just want a blog without the vomit, ok.
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK????
PS: Hex 48 is depths, I am not sure now if it is skills because that must be 16 talents, the other end of the channel... did I do it again? Shit.
I mean, oh dear, how clumsy, silly me. No, don't titter, don't mock the afflicted...